


Mummy Holmes

by wellthengameover



Series: Sherlock Meta [21]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Analysis, Character Analysis, Child Abuse, Childhood, Emotional Manipulation, Episode: s03e01 The Empty Hearse, Episode: s03e03 His Last Vow, Family, Holmes Family, Meta, Other, Sherlock Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 23:43:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5225705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellthengameover/pseuds/wellthengameover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I’m going to go ahead and put it out there: there’s something off about Mummy Holmes. I’ve always thought so. And the last time a character irritated me from the get-go (Mary), I was right, so I’m going to go with it. Before we met the Holmes parents, a lot of people thought that they must’ve been pretty bad, and then we met them, and we were like, “Oh, never mind.” But I’m thinking we weren’t so far off after all, at least with Mummy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mummy Holmes

I’m going to go ahead and put it out there: there’s something off about Mummy Holmes. I’ve always thought so. And [the last time a character irritated me from the get-go, I was right](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/102049948707/mary-makes-me-trust-in-mofftisson), so I’m going to go with it. Before we met the Holmes parents, a lot of people thought that they must’ve been pretty bad, and then we met them, and we were like, “Oh, never mind.” But I’m thinking we weren’t so far off after all, at least with Mummy. 

_First, the thing that is not the thing:_

I’m aware of the Holmes parents mirroring Sherlock and John. This is not about that. This is specifically about Mummy Holmes’s personality. I’m not saying she’s evil or a villain or anything; I just think there’s more to her than meets the eye because some of the things she says are a little off.  _  
_

_Now, the thing:_

[Mummy wrote  _The Dynamics of Combustion,_  which is a spin on ACD Moriarty’s  _The Dynamics of an Asteroid._ That alone makes me think there’s something more going on with her.](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/108366970397/i-can-understand-that-the-empty-house-style) I don’t think she’s “the real Moriarty” or a villain or anything like that; however the fact that she's  _so_ much of a bigger character than the father tells me she’s important, at least in [Redbeard aka The Other One’s death](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/98347033687/redbeard-is-the-other-one).

About Sherlock and Mycroft’s parents, Steven Moffat said:

> “Any time anyone has ever speculated on the parents of Sherlock Holmes they say he must have had a cold and loveless childhood. But that’s baloney! Sherlock and Mycroft are not the kind of kids who would have resulted from cold and loveless parents. Timid, frightened children are the product of loveless homes. **Adults who are completely confident and don’t mind being different from everybody else, that’s the product of a very, very loving home life.** That’s the product of someone always being told, “Doesn’t matter. You don’t have to be like anybody else. You can be who you are. Just be who you are.” This is what Sherlock’s been told, possibly too often given how he turned out.” ([x](http://www.vulture.com/2014/01/sherlock-finale-postmortem-steven-moffat-interview.html?mid=facebook_vulture))

And for some reason, everyone just decided to take Moffat at his word, because it’s not like he’s ever lied about anything. **Sherlock _isn’t_ completely confident.** In fact, he’s very insecure: he thinks his only value is his utility. So I think this quote is misleading at best - I don’t think Sherlock came from “a very, very loving home life.” I don’t think it was horrible - but there are situations in between “blatantly, horribly abusive” and “perfect,” and Mummy Holmes is really not very nice.

Let’s start with the big one, the scene everyone thinks is so funny:

  
  
  


**This is all very amusing, except that _it’s actually not._** Smoking is bad for you and she’s their mother and wants them to be healthy. But Sherlock and Mycroft are approximately thirty-five and forty; if they want to smoke,  _it’s no longer her business_. They’re not doing it in her house. They courteously went outside. She can tell them that she wishes they wouldn’t, that she’s worried about them, that she’ll help them quit, but she can no longer spy on them and chastise them like they’re five - which is exactly what she does. She can no longer act like they’re not “allowed to;” they’re adults: they’re allowed to do whatever they want as long as it’s within the law and not in her house.

This is similar - although definitely not as strong - to the [patronizing behavior we got from Mary in TEH and TSoT - and she turned out to be a villain](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/102049948707/mary-makes-me-trust-in-mofftisson), so I’m not dismissing it. We’ve been reading it as amusing that these two very independent and competent men can still be reduced to children by their mother, but I don’t think we’re supposed to - because it’s really not amusing at all. Mofftisson respect Sherlock and Mycroft, so any character who doesn’t is at least a little suspect: Irene, Mary, CAM, etc.

And Sherlock’s reaction is pretty telling:

  
  


He’s so proud of himself for getting away with it. But there’s the thing:  _he shouldn’t have to be._  That’s how a kid would react because they  _can't_ just say “Yes, I am smoking and it’s really none of your business.” But Sherlock is an adult; he can. But he apparently doesn’t think he can: the speed at which Mycroft and Sherlock turn around and have their lies ready means that this is not an infrequent occurrence; they were expecting it. **At thirty-five and forty, they were expecting their mother to spy on them.**

Sherlock sometimes acts like a kid, but Mycroft? The fact that he’s doing it too means this is an **ingrained behavior** **for both of them that they can’t tell Mummy the truth because she doesn’t respect their choices**.

I’m not sure Sherlock even notices this because it’s so normal for him, but Mycroft definitely does and he doesn’t like it:

> MRS HUDSON: Your mother has a lot to answer for.  
>  SHERLOCK: Mm, I know. I have a list. Mycroft has a  _file_. ([x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/68754.html))

This is a joke, but it definitely implies that Sherlock has some mild problems with his mother but that Mycroft has a lot more. Remember [deducingbbcsherlock](http://tmblr.co/mXc0fXoHeo6ZIwsWnyQgqYA)‘s 100% accurate quip rule:

> _If the dialogue makes you laugh, the humor is likely distracting you from something important._

Think about the Christmas scene in the kitchen: Mycroft is the one who won’t stop engaging with his mother and Sherlock is above it all and ignoring it. Though Mycroft is pretty dramatic too, it’s always been Sherlock that’s whining and being irritating and Mycroft that’s ignoring it, and this time it’s reversed. It caught my attention the first time I watched HLV.

Sherlock doesn’t even say anything for the whole first half of the scene, even though a) Mummy and Mycroft are talking about him; and b) Mummy is talking to Wiggins, who Sherlock brought there. When he finally does talk, he’s totally disinterested and doesn’t even look up from the paper:

  


Sherlock’s got a lot on his mind at the moment with CAM and Mary and he’s reading about Lady Smallwood’s husband’s suicide, but the fact that Mycroft engages is still odd.

Mycroft starts by whining totally unnecessarily: he may be bored, but complaining about something that can’t be fixed is a Sherlock thing, not a Mycroft thing:

  
  


The fact that the scene starts with Mycroft’s voice-over gives the impression that he’s been complaining for an indeterminate but long amount of time.

  


Mycroft is basically saying “What I do is important; what you do isn’t,” which is a little petty for Mycroft. What happened to “For goodness sake, I occupy a _minor_ position in the British government?” Even in TGG, Mycroft was still pretending to John that he occupies a minor position in the British government. Mycroft doesn’t strike me as the type to share a lot of stuff with his parents, so his parents probably actually think he _does_ occupy a minor position in the British government. It’s probably safer for them that way anyway. But he tells his mother that the security of the free world depends on his laptop because he’s being petty. Mummy doesn’t really seem to believe Mycroft that Mycroft’s laptop and/or Mycroft is particularly important because she responds the way she would if Mycroft were eight and telling her that: “Yes, that’s nice, dear.”

And then we come to something really interesting. Mummy is willing to drop their little tiff, but  _Mycroft isn’t:_

Mummy starts to move away from the table:

  


And Mycroft _immediately_ changes the topic, gestures dramatically, and suddenly starts to complain about something else entirely:

  


This is not a productive question. This is a rhetorical question you ask when you’re trying to be annoying. The fact that he does it so quickly when Mummy starts to leave tells me he’s irritated that _she just had the last word in their small argument_ , and he’s speaking before he’s really thinking so that he can continue the argument, reengage with her, and win.

Mummy’s starting to get a little irritated back:

  
  


Mycroft’s being way more than his usual level of passive-aggressive and smarmy, here. I don’t think he’s ever been this bad even with Sherlock. **He’s doing everything he can to irritate his mother without actually causing an argument.**

> MUMMY: _Behave,_ Mike.

Mummy starts to leave the table again after she says this, and Mycroft _reengages immediately again_   _because again, Mummy just had the last word:_

  


It’s cute that his mother calls him Mike, except that again, it’s not. His tone says that he’s repeatedly asked her to call him Mycroft and she won’t, probably because he wants her to treat him more like an adult and an equal, and she keeps thinking of him as child: “Mikey” is what she calls him earlier. 

Mummy looks pretty taken aback and annoyed at Mycroft’s insolence:

  


It’s easier to see in the video (which I definitely recommend you rewatch because apparently most people just glossed over the parents), but she leans back and gives him a look like “What did you just say to me?” And then Wiggins immediately gives her a glass of punch and distracts her, so we don’t know exactly how irritated she was or what she would’ve said, but from her expression, it wouldn’t surprise me if this had actually devolved into an argument.

Basically what I’m saying is that Mycroft doesn’t like Mummy; he’s quite disdainful of Mummy, more so than he is of anyone else on this show (and he’s pretty disdainful of a lot of people). Mycroft is a diplomat, but he is apparently incapable of thinking “Okay, it’s three hours of irritation; I’ve dealt with worse; I can sit through it.”

In the S3 DVD commentaries, Mark Gatiss said he wants to know why Sherlock is the favorite child:

> GATISS: Now why, why, is Sherlock her [Mummy’s] favourite? That’s what I want to know. Clearly he is. ([x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/75250.html))

But Mofftisson aren’t asking questions they don’t already have the answers to. Mummy and Mycroft definitely don’t get along, and there’s a reason for it.

 **The passive-aggressiveness and baiting that Mycroft does that’s all centered around him being an important, grown-up person.** That makes me think that he’s really irritated by Mummy still treating him like a child, but that he’s not willing to have the big argument that would result from him really putting his foot down about it, since he turns around so fast and lies about the smoking thing, instead of just telling her. Possibly it’s all unconscious. But he’s really irritated by her, much more so than Sherlock is.

But Sherlock doesn’t have a lot of respect for his mother, either, despite the fact that she’s clever:

> MRS HUDSON: I really am going to have a word with your mother.   
>  SHERLOCK: You can if you like. She understands very little. ([x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/68754.html))

This is the weirdest line ever. Fatuous is a really odd word choice:

> fat·u·ous: _adj.,_ complacently or inanely foolish

Well, mathematics really _doesn’t_ seem inanely foolish now. And if she went to all the work of writing a book, she probably doesn’t think so either. My parents are both university professors, and people who work in academia generally love their jobs and consider what they’re doing to be important, so this is a really weird comment. It doesn’t really come off as sincere, more like she thinks she’s supposed to be humble about it, so that’s what she says. She’s got this book apparently just _lying around in her living room for people to find_. She doesn’t think it’s worthless.

  


We’ve all talked about this line and it’s connection with Mary, but _this is the wrong sentiment for a mother whose son was recently shot and_ _died_ _on the operating table._ Her tone when she says this is really lighthearted and she’s making it into a joke. She’s using it as a joke in a ordinary conversation in which she and Sherlock and Mycroft are doing a bit of mild sniping at each other. Sherlock being shot and dying is _way_ more serious than the rest of that conversation, but she’s treating them like they’re equal. She’s not taking Sherlock being shot and dying seriously at all.

I’m sure Sherlock didn’t tell her how bad it was - she probably doesn’t even know that his heart stopped - but even if he was just shot, her use of this is _way_ too lighthearted. She says it like she’s talking about who stole the last cookie that she had said she wanted: “Someone took the last cookie from the cookie jar, and if I ever find out who, I shall turn absolutely monstrous.” You can hear her saying that line in _the exact same tone of voice._ But stealing the last cookie and shooting her son shouldn’t be equal.

Secondly, her focus in this line is on vengeance, not how Sherlock is doing. I think that’s another of many nods to her controlling and autocratic nature.

When you first meet them in TEH, Mummy is completely dominating the conversation. Sherlock is ignoring both his parents and the father is occasionally trying to chime in, but Mummy just keeps talking:

> MUMMY: … which wasn’t the way I’d put it at all. Silly woman. Anyway, it was then that I first noticed it was missing. I said, “Have you checked down the back of the sofa?” He’s  _always_  losing things down the back of the sofa, aren’t you, dear?  
>  FATHER: ’Fraid so.  
>  MUMMY: Keys, small change, sweeties. Especially his glasses.  
>  FATHER: Glasses.  
>  MUMMY: Blooming things. I said, “Why don’t you get a chain – wear ’em round your neck?” And he says, “What – like Larry Grayson?”  
>  FATHER  _(almost simultaneously)_ : Larry Grayson. ([x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/68754.html))

Though it’s definitely not as present as it is with Sherlock and Mycroft, you can see Mummy being a little patronizing of the father in this scene; she’s a little tacky and rude about how incompetent she feels he is, and she’s controlling the conversation. She’s controlling the room, too.

  


She’s much more present in this shot than the father is. She’s much closer to the camera. The father keeps finishing her sentences, but I get a “trying to squeeze a word in edgewise” vibe rather than a cute couple vibe, because Mummy never finishes any of the father’s sentences. The father says 11 words in this whole scene compared to 151 from Mummy. The fact that she's  _so_ talkative when Sherlock is so clearly not listening to her is a little odd:

  


Sherlock’s not listening. Mummy’s not having a conversation with her husband because she’s not letting him say anything. She’s just talking. This tells me she’s pretty arrogant:  _of course_ everyone’s interested in what she has to say, and only what she has to say.

Sherlock shoves his parents out the door rudely as soon as John arrives, and Mummy sticks her foot in the door so he can’t close it. This conversation isn’t over until she says it is.

It’s pretty obvious from the very beginning of the scene that Mummy is “taking care” of the father, but because you haven’t met them before, you think: “Well, maybe for some reason he really does need her to take care of him.” But when she sticks her foot in the door, you know that it’s just her personality: autocratic. Sherlock is really rude about kicking his parents out, but this is his house: he’s allowed to kick people out if he wants to. It’s quite rude - but it’s also pretty rude to shove your foot in the door and say you’re not leaving until you’ve finished what you’ve got to say. The fact the Mummy sticks her foot in the door means she was expecting Sherlock to shut the door in her face - which tells you some not great things about Sherlock, but it also tells you that rather than try to improve their relationship so that Sherlock doesn’t want to shut the door in her face, she’d rather just bully her way through.

But it’s not that she’s rude, because lots of characters on this show are rude. When he’s forced to interact with his mother directly, Sherlock mostly won’t look at her.

When she sticks her foot in the door, Sherlock looks down at it and then looks at Mummy, shocked:

  


And then, after that, he literally won’t look her in the face, even while she’s talking to him:

  
  


She’s literally speaking to him at this moment, but he keeps his head ducked, his eyes, down, and his shoulders curled in on himself. Sherlock usually stares straight at people almost uncomfortably - probably in an effort to make himself appear more confident - but he’s not even willing to look at his own mother. His face is in shadow. It’s uncomfortable.

At Christmas, Mummy continues to act a little bit more like the father’s “keeper” than his spouse:

  


Firstly, telling someone who is a guest in your house and you have _never met before_ to poke your husband if he starts being annoying, even as a joke, is … pretty awful to your husband. It’s a bit like the way Mary was treating John in TEH and TSoT: “He’s just a silly little bumbling sweater-wearer that can’t get along without me to mind him." It’s not a lot, but I think it’s slightly more apparent in what the father says:

> FATHER: **I could never bear to argue with her. I’m something of a moron myself.** But she’s … unbelievably hot! ([x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/68754.html))

When I think about the way Mummy is pretty autocratic with her sons and controls the conversation at Baker Street, this line gets a little interesting: "I’m not really good enough for her, so I let her make all the decisions and always have things her way. She knows better anyway, and I don’t like to make her upset, ever, because then she turns absolutely monstrous.” **I actually find “I could never bear to argue with her” a little terrifying: being unwilling or afraid to disagree with your spouse is not cute; it’s a mark of an abusive relationship.**

And the father isn’t the only one who’s unwilling to upset Mummy:

> MYCROFT: … This petty feud between us is simply childish. People will suffer … and you know how it always upset Mummy.  
>  SHERLOCK: _I_ upset her? Me? It wasn’t _me_ that upset her, Mycroft. ([x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/68754.html))

Mummy Holmes is an academic. Academics _love_ to argue and debate - but Mummy Holmes apparently doesn’t. I know people have been making a parallel between “I could never bear to argue her” and “Your way, always your way.” And while that may be true, I don’t think it’s quite that straight forward. Because John _does_ argue with Sherlock all the time. He often decides that Sherlock is the expert and he should defer to Sherlock’s judgement, but he does argue with him first - it's definitely not that he “can’t bear” to argue with him. Even before John says “Your way, always your way,” he argues with Sherlock a whole bunch. So while those things may be parallel, I don’t think they’re identical.

> MARY: She was a mathematician?  
>  FATHER: **Gave it all up for children.** ([x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/68754.html))

Mummy gave it all up for children - but why? Again, my parents are both university professors, and I can tell you it’s a job with a very flexible schedule. There’s nothing wrong with quitting your job for your children if you want, but doing so as a university professor is slightly odd because a) it’s very flexible; and b) I assume math was something she was passionate about. So I don’t think this is  _strictly_ true. I think it has something to do with [Redbeard aka The Other One’s dying](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/98347033687/redbeard-is-the-other-one).

> MYCROFT: I’ll be mother.  
>  SHERLOCK  _(pointedly)_ : And there is a whole childhood in a nutshell. ([x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/68754.html))

This implies that Mycroft did a lot of the raising of Sherlock, but we’ve now met the Holmes parents, and that doesn’t seem like it’s true. But what if it was just one time that Mycroft had to be the adult? But it was an important time - like when [Redbeard aka The Other One’s died](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/98347033687/redbeard-is-the-other-one). Or possibly that Sherlock thinks Mycroft stepped in when he shouldn’t have in [Redbeard aka The Other One’s death](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/98347033687/redbeard-is-the-other-one), but actually Mycroft really did need to step in because:

> FATHER: **Complete flake, my wife** , but happens to be a genius. ([x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/68754.html))

A lot of adult children aren’t very connected to their parents, but **Mofftisson give the impression that they’re setting up the most adorably perfect family _but_   _they’re not - not quite -_ and I think that’s on purpose. If this was supposed to be two adult children who bicker with their parents, they would _also_ show Sherlock and Mycroft smiling at their mother _at least once_ \- and neither of them ever do. **

And it seems like Sherlock and Mycroft shouldbe more connected to Mummy, at least over the mathematics thing. But she’s not interested in math anymore; now both parents appear very ordinary:

> JOHN: I-I mean they’re just … so …ordinary.  
>  SHERLOCK: It’s a cross I have to bear. ([x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/68754.html))

> MYCROFT: Have to phone our parents, of course, in Oklahoma _…_ Won’t be the first time that your substance abuse has wreaked havoc with their line-dancing. ([x](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/68754.html))

_The father is interesting, as well: Why didn’t he notice his kids were a mess and why didn’t he do anything about it and why has he still not noticed?_

The father just doesn’t seem like he knows anything about the drama between Mycroft, Mummy, and Sherlock. In 25 years, he hasn’t noticed. He doesn’t seem to know that Mummy made a _really_ bad decision that killed one of her kids because he’s so pleased about “she gave it all up for children.” He apparently never noticed that Sherlock was a disaster. He doesn’t seem to notice that Mycroft and Sherlock are barely speaking. If he did notice any of this, he didn’t bother to do anything about it. He didn’t bother to talk to them about it or get them to talk to each other.

I can only take from this that he wasn’t there when Sherrinford died. Either:

  * **He’s the second husband** \- except Mycroft refers to them as “our parents” (“I’ll have to phone our parents, of course, in Oklahoma”) not “Mummy and Christopher” or something like that.
  * **He was gone for some reason during this whole fiasco** \- and when he got back, he didn’t notice that Sherlock and Mycroft were complete messes?
  * **He was knocked out or something early on and just missed it** \- and when he came to, he didn’t notice that Sherlock and Mycroft were complete messes?



None of these actually seem likely.

Has he not met his children? Has he not noticed that they are screwed up? His kids are saying things like “Sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side” and he thinks everything is fine. Is he so afraid of Mummy that he’s not willing to do anything that’s not her suggestion? Is this some kind of coping mechanism similar to Mummy’s - pretend that everything is fine - but different in its execution?

Anyway, back to Mummy:

Her decision to give up being a brilliant mathematician and become “an ordinary person” - possibly a slightly foolish person - who line-dances in Oklahoma must be part of the reason Mycroft despises her. But the question is: what caused her to give up being a mathematician?

It probably did have something to do with children, so it’s got to be [Redbeard aka The Other One’s death](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/98347033687/redbeard-is-the-other-one). And Mummy was definitely involved in that; I’m pretty sure it was at least mostly her fault, and I don’t even think she realizes it. I’m pretty she - and everyone else, including Sherlock - blames Mycroft. So the stress of [Redbeard aka The Other One’s death](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/98347033687/redbeard-is-the-other-one) was (understandably) too much for Mummy: she gave up academics and decided to basically live life to the full - go line-dancing.

That “absolutely monstrous” line is still getting to me - when she says it, she seems _proud_ of being absolutely monstrous or just thinks it’s funny:

  1. **She seems more focused on being angry than concerned about Sherlock’s health.**
  2. **Her adult sons would rather lie to her than get in trouble and it’s an ingrained behavior.**
  3. **Her sons really don’t like to have her upset.**
  4. **The father can’t bear to argue with her.**



So I’m thinking Mummy’s got a pretty nasty temper, possibly edging into emotionally abusive. If we rewrite the line:

> MYCROFT: … This petty feud between us is simply childish. People will suffer … and you know how it always made Mummy turn absolutely monstrous.  
>  SHERLOCK:  _I_  made her turn absolutely monstrous? Me? It wasn’t  _me_  that made her turn absolutely monstrous, Mycroft.

Here’s what I see from Mummy Holmes: she appears ordinary on the surface,  _but she’s not_. It all seems sweet on the surface, but it’s a little rotten underneath:

  1. She’s arrogant
  2. She’s controlling
  3. Mycroft doesn’t respect her  _at all_
  4. She doesn’t take things very seriously
  5. She gets upset/turns absolute monstrous too easily



These are all little things in and of themselves, but I don’t think they’re accidental, just like the things with Mary in TEH and TSoT weren’t accidental. The thing about mummy is that this exact thing happened with Mary. Before HLV, there were about four people who said “Mary is actually kind of mean? Manipulative? Patronizing?” and everyone was said “Nah, you’re reading too much into it, she’s fine. Sassy. Fun.” And then she turned out to be evil, and all those fairly subtle mean behaviors were in fact supposed to be mean. Mummy’s not evil but same deal. There are a bunch subtle indications that she’s controlling, etc. and yet everyone’s doing the same thing they did with Mary in TEH and TSoT. The fact that Mofftisson did this behavior with Mary means they’re very aware of it. It’s not that Mummy ever does anything absolutely horrible - but she never does anything particularly good/nice, either, or even really neutral. I get the impression that people seem to be thinking that because the parents are definitely not blatantly, horribly abusive, they must be great, but there is a gradient of being a good parent. And the Holmeses are somewhere on that gradient, like every other parent.

Anyway, this is all background for [Redbeard aka The Other One’s death](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/98347033687/redbeard-is-the-other-one), so go read that. Also, if you want to know more about Mummy’s book and it’s connection to Jim, go [here](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/post/108366970397/i-can-understand-that-the-empty-house-style).

**Author's Note:**

> Transcibed from [my meta blog on tumblr](http://wellthengameover.tumblr.com/my-sherlock-meta). Much more there.


End file.
